Archive for October, 2007

Possibly Pregnant Enough

October 11, 2007

After Tuesday’s drama at the RE’s office, I spent the rest of the day in bed, occassionally sitting up long enough to turn my laptop on and google “nondoubling beta.” I also googled “5 weeks no gestational sac ultrasound” as nothing was seen on Tuesday’s ultrasound. I posted on message boards, looking for success stories in situations similar to mine. And I prayed. Not so much prayed, I guess, as begged.

By the end of the day yesterday, I had decided that there was at least a possibility, even if it was a small one, that things might work out and that my RE was being overly cautious.  I had a little bit of hope, but had also started to reconcile myself with the fact that things might not work out.

This morning’s beta rose to 708.

This means my doubling time has decreased, as the beta almost doubled in less than 48 hours. The RE (whose new name is Dr. Eeyore, for his less-than-optimistic outlook) was quick to remind me that even though my beta went up, I am still several days behind where he would like me to be and that even though I did IVF, there is still a small chance that it could be an ectopic pregnancy.

But for now, I am pregnant. I am trying to be positive and optimistic, and to not be a complete nervous wreck.  B/W and U/S will be repeated on Monday.

The past ten days or so have been a completely new area of infertility that I had never experienced and did not anticipate. I guess I hadn’t gotten over the idea that you are either pregnant or you’re not – the shades of gray, the uncertainty, and the cautious hope are just one more way in which infertility has taught me some hard truths. Thank you all for your support – knowing that there are other women out there going through the same things makes this turbulent journey a little more bearable.

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Not pregnant enough?

October 9, 2007

First Beta (10/1/07) = 58

Second Beta (10/9/07) = 371

Doubling Time = 2.98 days

The RE is concerned that this may not be a viable pregnancy….he would have like my beta level to be in the 800-900 range by now.  I am trying to remain optimistic, but I feel like I can’t breathe.  I am not strong enough for this.